What if
by magic-munchies
Summary: Guns, Gays, Kissing, Ninjas, Audrey Hepburn, Transvestites, Rare Barbie Dolls, Dates, Sunglasses, Ballet, Death, Sex, Wrestling, Harry Potter, Private Investigators and CSI: NY! What more could you want?


**A/N-I got bored and made these…****Soooo lame….**

**Number one-****Peyton is using Mac to get to Stella,**

Mac and Peyton were lying in bed, Peyton plucked up her courage and asked Mac something she had meant to for ages,

"Mac what's Stella like?" She asked

"Um, a fine CSI," Mac said puzzled

"No silly, What's she like in person?" Peyton asked,

"Um, Nice, Smart, feisty, can put together a semi-automatic faster than I'd like to admit," Mac said still puzzled,

"Mmmm, Kinky," Peyton said,

Mac was seriously puzzled, "Um, Peyton, I think Stella is straight, and come to think about it you are too,"

"Oh, There are a lot of things you don't know about me," Peyton said smiling, "Stella would love to try something new…"

"Look Peyton I hate to break it to you but I don't think Stella will really be that impressed if you asked her," Mac said,

"Your just Jealous," Peyton leaves room and calls Stella, a few minutes she returns,

"THAT BITCH! She turned me down!"

**End of scene one…Lindsay tries to use Danny to get to Stella (she's a chick magnet…."**

Lindsay and Danny were lying in bed, Lindsay plucked up her courage and asked Danny something she had meant to for ages,

"Danny what's Stella like?" She asked

"Stella? Um…Stellaish," He replied puzzled,

"Reckon she'd go out with me?"

"Your lez?" 

"Well duh!"

"EWWW!" Danny run's out screaming,

"HOMO-BASHER!"

**End ****of scene two-Scene three-Stella's PMSing and is bored and cranky and happens to have a machine gun handy (This is when Austin powers kicks in!)**

Stella was sitting around in the lab bored, suddenly she sees the person who has been pissing her off for ages-aka Peyton Driscoll, Because she is PMSing and cranky she get's up with the machine gun and begins firing into Peyton's back as she walks down the corridor, but she ain't dying!

"Haha! Die Peyton!"

Peyton keeps walking

Stella keeps firing

Peyton keeps walking

"DIE BITCH!"

Peyton keeps walking

(Stella is really puzzled now, running forward she looks at Peyton who seems unhurt,)

"Goddamnit why won't you die?" Stella asks,

Suddenly sparks fly out of Peyton's mouth and she falls on the floor with a sort of metallic clanging

"She's a robot?!"

**End of scene three, ****Flack isn't who we think…**

"Um, Don…since when did you have a lightning shape scar on your forehead," Hawkes said looking at Flack,

Flack slaps his forehead "Damn make-up! Never works!"

"Um why do you want to hide your scar?" Hawkes asked, "It makes you look like Harry Potter!"

"Damn!" Flack cursed, His secret was out! His name wasn't Donald Flack jr. but Harry Potter wizard celebrity who was currently hiding from the media!

**End of scene four,**** Sid has a secret…..**

Danny was getting a jacket from his locker, he threw a glance around the room when he noticed something on the bench, a pile of black clothing, Danny being curious picked it up, It was a ninja outfit! Looking at it, Danny spotted a name written on the tag-Sid Hammerback-Danny dropped it very fast! He never knew Sid was actually a ninja!

**End of scene five- What do ****Hawkes and Danny get up to in their spare time…(I spend too much time with my emo friends who are always looking at pictures of guys snogging…I think it's just weird!)**

"Hawkes if you had one wish what would it be?" Danny asked, They were sitting in the break room,

"I'd have unlimited intelligence," Hawkes said shrugging,

"You already have unlimited intelligence, I'd wish that any woman I wanted to would date me," Danny replied,

"Apparently women love bisexual guys, They are always swooning over pictures of guys pashing!" Hawkes replied,

"Ooh…" Danny replied, "Well…not meaning to sound odd but let's try,"

Both start kissing

Stella and Lindsay enter, upon seeing the two csi's kissing they promptly look at one another,

"……That's um odd……"

"Hawkes! You said that would be irresistible to woman!"

**End of scene six****-Face it men suck...Stella knows this…**

Stella Bonasera walked into the restaurant, She looked lovely in a simple black dress, Upon sitting down at the table she opened her bag and assembled a semi-automatic in record time, propping it on the chair opposite her she smiled,

"Hello, How are you?" Stella asked,

"That's good," Stella said smiling, "How was your day?"

"Mine was fine thank you,"

"I'm not doing much this weekend, might catch a movie later, I've got work soo…"

Mac, Danny, Lindsay and Peyton were on a double date, they entered the same restaurant and see Stella,

"Hi Stella," Lindsay said, "Who's your date?"

"This is Harrison," Stella replied,

Danny raises an eyebrow

"You said she was smart…not crazy…" Peyton whispered to Mac,

Meanwhile...far away in Miami Horatio is having a date with a certain old friend…

"Ahh, my good friend, sunglasses of justice, how are you?"

**End of Scene six. Mac seems relatively sensible…**

"Miss Driscoll you wanted the report on Mac Taylor," The private investigator said, "Well he's not cheating on you like thought but there is something else,"

Peyton looked up, "What?"

The private investigator put down a brown envelope on the desk, Peyton opened it and stared in horror at the pictures,

"He's a transvestite…that's um unexpected,"

"He's very popular…performs under the name Stella-Maria…My favourite…"

"Oh…"

**End of scene seven****-Lindsay also seems to have something odd about her...**

Lindsay comes into the break room, Danny and Adam are arm wrestling, Danny win's and looks around proudly,

"I won!"

"I'll bet I can beat you Messer boy," Lindsay said, sitting down, Danny flexed his muscles,

"I won't hurt you," Danny said, They begin and Lindsay easily beats him, Adam laughs, Danny embarrassed, has too cover his ass, "I was just going easy on her, she is a girl,"

"Shut up Messer," Lindsay say's, They try again,

"HOLY CRAP Lindsay, Are you trying to break my arm?" Danny shrieked,

"Oops, being a champion Female Wrestler has it's down side…" Lindsay said shrugging,

**End of scene eight- Hawkes…..**

Lindsay stood behind Hawkes and coughed, He jumped about a mile,

"Um Hawkes what are you doing?"

"Look at this! It's a rare Audrey Hepburn Barbie doll!"

"That's so cool!" Lindsay said,

"I'm buying it," Hawkes said,

"Oh…"

"I collect rare dolls, I have a rather large collection now, I attend meeting's and things, I also am beginning to collect my little ponies,"

"Um…yeah Hawkes I have to go now…"

**End of scene ****nine-Danny time….**

The team was all at a ballet performance except for Danny, Stella was watching one of the male dancers intently,

"Has anyone got a program," She asked and took Mac's when he passed it too her, squinting she made out one of the names in the cast-Danny Messer, "I knew it,"

"What?" Lindsay asked,

"Shhh" Mac said giving them both the evils,

"Danny does ballet!" She whispered back,

"He does?" Now Mac was interested, Stella pointed out the dancer,

"Haha, I'd hate to be Danny tomorrow," Flack said.

The end.

**These are just 10 ideas that would be funny (in my opinion) Review :D Make me happy…might do another chapter if can be stuffed and if I can think of more… **

**CLICK THE REVIEW BUTTON! Make my day! **


End file.
